Yeaaaa! It’s a New Year! Your divorce is behind you and you’re a single woman now. You’re ready for a new start!
Are you one of the millions of Americans that is going to make a resolution?
Resolutions Suck. They don’t work. They aren’t effective. They actually end up setting you back.
According to Business Insider, eighty percent of resolutions fail by February. Eighty percent! The intention behind making resolutions is noble. You may want to create a positive change in your life. You may want to improve yourself or your environment. But when you don’t stick to those resolutions, you feel like a failure. You just end up feeling even more disappointed in yourself than before you started.
So maybe you really want to create a new you in the new year. You’ve decided that you are ready to feel like a more empowered woman. You truly want to be a better version of yourself. Then stop with silly resolutions.
Here’s why your New Year’s resolutions will probably fail.
- Resolutions are ambiguous.
Often, ambiguous resolutions fail because, well, for one, they are ambiguous. Stating “I want to lose weight” or “I want to save money” (the two most popular resolutions in America) are too vague to be effective. The goals are intangible and too vague to really be attained.
Resolutions lack simplicity and a plan of action. Real change occurs with action steps that must be taken. Without steps that force you to change your habits, you can’t change your results.
- Resolutions lack accountability.
Many resolutions also lack accountability. When there is no one to hold us accountable, we are less likely to reach a goal. Those who hire trainers or coaches are far more likely to lose that weight than those that go it alone.
- Willpower fades over time.
Willpower is a myth. The LA Times writes about how willpower is malleable. Consistency is real. When you have a plan of action, you won’t have to rely on willpower when times get tough.
- Resolutions fail to set deadlines.
Most resolutions lack a timeline. If you want to reach a goal, put a time limit on when you want to achieve it. This forces you to put your money where your mouth is.
If your intention is to improve yourself or improve the relationships around you, I invite you to reframe your resolution. Rather than a resolution, how about thinking about the conditions of your life?
What if you were to create a list of the conditions you will create in your career, relationships, and health this year? What would life be like if you were to focus on creating the circumstances in which you can thrive and find happiness?
What healthy boundaries do you need to create with those around you? What have you tolerated last year that you can put a stop to this year?
What can you surround yourself with so that you feel loved?
Envision yourself in the life that you want. How do you feel? How do you look? How does this life sound and taste?
Once you know what you want, you can remove anything or anyone that doesn’t fit into those conditions.
If feeling healthy, fit, and energetic is the physical condition you’ve created for yourself, you will feel empowered when choosing the healthy food options rather than deprived.
If feeling secure and confident in your relationships is part of your life vision, you won’t hesitate to boot that guy you’re dating who calls inconsistently and whose comments leave you feeling uncertain. You know that the guy who lavishes you with compliments and puts you first is out there waiting.
If surrounding yourself with positive people is a condition of your life, you will stop eating lunch with that co-worker who gossips because you’ve set the standard that you no longer fraternize with toxic people in your life.
Invest in yourself to reach your goals. Hire a life strategist and personal trainer to be your accountability partners in your journey. These professionals can lay out the strategies and systems in place that will help you create the life conditions you desire to be more joyful and successful in your life. They will help you map out the steps to success and uncover those subconscious roadblocks that have you continually sabotaging yourself. You only have one mind, one body, and chance at this life so MAKE. IT. COUNT.